Paul Eats a Penny
by Ill Lasanga
Summary: Complete and utter CRACK! Paul finds a penny in the street and decides to eat it! Brock says nothing the entire story! And Dawn is involved in a complicated Love Triangle! Read! Review! And get a slice of free pie!


**Cee Cee:** Hello, my insane little ragamuffins! Today I'm bringing you a story of utter boredom and lack of commen sense! YAY BOREDOM!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Pokemon and their various characters. I only toy woth them as I please.

**Cee Cee:** Now, without further ado, I bring you...

**Paul Eats a Penny: A crack story based on Diamond & Pearl.**

One fine day in Hearthome city, Paul was striding along, being tough and Emo. He had just gotten pwned by Fantina, and was going to a hotel for an Angst paragraph or two. That just proves he's even_ more _Emo.

Until he tripped over a penny.

Paul was first startled at the fact that such a _lowly_ thing would _dare_ trip _him_! So he yelled, "What? Who? Who dares to obstruct the path of Paul, Mighty Rival of Ash?!" He pointed at the penny. "How dare you insolent piece of metal! You shall pay and live a thousand years of Doom!"

The crazy trainer began flailing his arms around and stomping his feet on the ground. He stopped and began smiling evilly. "Wait, I have a better idea. I'm not going to kill you, I'm going to eat you, THEN kill you! You're going to die. And then you'll be dead, because I killed you!"

Paul then popped the penny in his mouth and thought,_ Hah, just like the time I tried suicide with pills. _He frowned. _Damn child safety caps! _He slammed straight into Ash, because that is the only way to find people in this series! Knocking into them and possibly giving them concussions! Yeah, concussions…

"OMG, Paul!" Dawn popped up between Ash and Paul's partially unconscious bodies. She almost glomped Paul if he wasn't so freaking fearsome. "It's like, sooo Kawaii to see you!"

"Paul, let's battle! I've gotten better after half an hour of off-screen training! Random idiotic sentence!" Ash immediately jumped back up and went into a fighting stance, even though he's not the one who's going to fight.

Brock, as usual, said nothing.

Paul replied, "No! I'm not going to duel you 'cuz I'm a depressed child!" He yelled out ridiculously and pointed at him with an invisible gun.

"NOEZ!! ANS INVISIBLE GUN!! MI 1 TRU WEEKNEZZ1 IM MELTINGZ!!!!11" Ash melted and squish-ily plopped onto the pavement. Because squish-ily is a fun word. Deal with it.

Squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily, squish-ily, squi-shily.

Ok, I'm done.

Meanwhile at a hospital…

What? It seems as if the scene has changed without me knowing. Blasphemy!

"Oh, Ash! Why did it have to be you? Why not Paul!" Gary, (Who had appeared spontaneously after hearing Ash was on his deathbed) cried, kneeling beside the starched white sheets holding a bubbling mess with an IV sticking out of it. Also known as Ash.

"Time's up, back to work, Oak. " A very displeased Nurse joy holding a list and a clipboard said. Gary calmly stood up and strode out of the room, knowing his cameo was complete.

"Next!" Dawn entered the hospital room. Yes, PHEAR ME and my Un-descriptiveness! Muhuwahahaha! PHEAR ME!!!

*Cough*

Everyone in the room sweatdropped. Even Ash, although he is already a sweatdrop. "Soooo, who votes the authoress insane and needs to get out more, say Aye?"

"I hate my job!"

"Fatality!"

"Glurp!"

Brock nodded.

"Good. Now, Who's up for pie?" Dawn held up a gravity defying plate topped with every kind of pie imaginable. So many pies people could get diabetes from just looking at them.

"Sweet." So everyone in the various universes took a slice and cleared the gravity defying plate. Dawn floated out into the sky, hanging on the platter.

"Wait! My love interest! NO!!" Paul/Ash/Kenny cried and grabbed Dawn's feet as she was raised up into the air.

"NOEZ! My love interest!" OC that _distinctly _resembles Dawn/Misty/Zoey also made a snatch for her love interest's feet. As the plate then carried the possible Love triangle off the ground, their last sentences before touching down were as follows:

"Don't look at my butt!"

"Don't look at my butt!"

"Don't look at my…Oh there's no one there."

And so, thanks to the power of Crack OOC writing, everyone returned to the ground safely. Everyone resumed what he or she was doing, whether it is Emoing, being happy, bubbling unconsciously, or not communicating for no real reason.

"Well, that was an uneventful contrivance." Dawn voiced out to the reading public, unaware of the consequences.

She paused.

"That was the smartest sentence in this fic, wasn't it?"

Brock nodded.

**ThE eNd**


End file.
